On A Journey to Self-Love

I heard somewhere that the universe will keep trying to teach you the same lesson until it finally sticks.

I heard the lesson loud and clear this time.

To have your self-esteem wrapped up in others is a recipe for not only disaster but a deep, resounding misery. I had to learn to love myself and be alone.

The task seemed daunting but I wasn’t going to mess it up this time and mask it with someone new, something new, burying all my pain into another thing, another person, another distraction.

My relationship with myself is going to be my longest relationship, so I better make it good.

I told my therapist that I think I’m halfway to where I want to be on this self-love journey. She said, “What does self-love look like to you?”

To me, self-love means being able to take an active inventory of my accomplishments and talents and be proud of myself. Actually proud, in a non-fake, not braggy way.

It means that I can look at my flaws and weaknesses with compassion and curiosity, not shame and blame. I can ask the right questions and take the appropriate actions to try and do better.

It means that I can enjoy my own company and not seek out others for any selfish reasons related to my ego. I do not need another person. I do not need to be needed in order to be loved.

Self-love means that I am strong enough to put myself first. It means enacting boundaries that protect my time, my energy, and my heart — and not worry what others will think of me.

It means that when people choose to leave my life, I let them go. I can be sad or frustrated but my world is not over. I do not feel like dying. I am ok. I understand that people’s choices are about them, not me.

It means that I bring the best version of myself to anything I do. And that I am kind to whatever version of myself I am, whether it be productive, or tired, or sad. I meet myself where I am and know that I am doing the best I can.

It means that no matter what happens in this big crazy world, that I am the one I can rely on most. I will always be here.

I am my greatest investment. And I’d bet on me every day, over anyone.

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Writer. Author of Dear Debt. Host of the Mental Health and Wealth Show. Founder of Lola Retreat. Let’s talk money. Support me: https://ko-fi.com/melanielockert

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Melanie Lockert

Writer. Author of Dear Debt. Host of the Mental Health and Wealth Show. Founder of Lola Retreat. Let’s talk money. Support me: https://ko-fi.com/melanielockert